Thought I'd moved on...

Tec 228

Yesterday I attended my first Tec team meeting =) It was in Lawrence, my favorite Kansas town. I visited my grandma before the meeting and took a look around The Dusty Bookshelf, my new favorite bookstore. I bought Kristen's Christmas present (which she has lusted over in the past).

The meeting went wonderfully. We started slightly late but we accomplished everything we needed to. I along with Kristen are wheaties and Juliana is a resource. The only other person on team I know is Megan D. and she is going to be an assistant Wheat. I'm really excited for this TEC. I was also asked to give the Peace talk. I'm not sure what I'm going to write it over. According to a certain person "I have tons of things I can write about" meaning the obvious parental thing, Brooke, Wallace, and another topic. I have two weeks to figure it out.

We have to recruit candidates as well. Between Kristen and I we have a good list of people to ask. It's going to be an awesome retreat

Rugby pictures (Ozark Tournament/ Ku social)

My first rugby social was after the KU game. I was pretty nervous.
I recieved my rugby name that night: Olive Oyl. It has something to do with the dress. My glasses are quit loved. Everyone has to wear them. Falling asleep before your veterans is pretty dangerous. They get awesome ideas. Thankfully it was pretty harmless. I just woke up very confused the next morning. We also like to wear capes...in any shape or form. As well as stand on chairs.

























I was much more prepared for the Ozark tournament. It was a very fun night. We were able to get some pictures of our game as well as a team picture. Our theme for the night was ugly dresses. Even some of the KC Rouges helped us out. We were able to get one in a suit and Hunt wore our mullet. I of course had to wear my Olive Oyl dress. I think I pulled it off pretty well =)
On the way home we stopped at this restaurant and obviously had to take a picture with the sign.
Don't ever give your rookie hat to other people or be caught without it. I had to do star jumps along with push ups. My rookie hat was pretty amazing.

Was it real?

Secrets from last night

Yesterday was Tweaker day. I believe Wolf made this holiday up. I declared we should have a rookie day as well. I think Tweaker enjoyed herself. I certainly had an awesome time even if I am extremely exhausted at the moment. This is what I discovered last night.

• I find it extremely strange when people say I'm pretty and/or hot. Which consequently means I don't understand why people ever become jealous of me.
  
• Flight suits are amazing. They have tons of pockets
• Sometimes I flirt with people who don't look as old as they are.
• Rugby players are terrible bowlers. I won with an impressive score of 110.
• I have to wear the Green man soon but I'd like to hit the gym some first.
• It's always best for me to hide my phone from myself.
  
• Sonic aprons make awesome little capes
• I can beat at least 2 people on the team at arm wrestling.
  

I must stop procrastinating on finishing this paper now. It's nearly done. And I must grab a cup of Joe. (Does anyone really say that anymore? I think we should bring this saying back)

Night Buzz Stole Christmas

I attended this holiday event with my new friend Chris. Chris is also a rookie on the team. It was a great show. My love for Free Energy grew along with Dirty Heads and Jimmy Eat World. I wasn't very impressed with Cage the Elephant. They were very personable with the crowd but the lead singer tanked the vocals. None the less we had a good time. Chris should feel quite special. I didn't leave her for the mosh pit and we even left the front of the stage for the end of the show. Anyone who has been with me for previous concerts knows I never do this. I had a blast though and I shall use my secret weapon to get her to dance next time. =)

Post-it Wedding =)

When life becomes too hard to handle I indulge in Grey's Anatomy. It's difficult for me to handle the unknown. I like to know what is going on and what will happen. When I don't know what is going on or I'm terrified of the next few weeks I watch this. It's inexpensive curiosity of netflix and I can watch it anywhere. Grey's is what helps my mind stop. Stop worrying, stop thinking, stop stressing out, just stop. I will forever love it even when it reminds me of events and people I wish to stay forgotten. Below is one of my favorite scenes. I love this show.

When did you heart go missing?

Packing

I'm having my first legitimate packing experience. In the past I was either too little to really pack and the last time I moved (being when I moved here), I literally could fit all my stuff in a bag. I moved on Sunday, books mainly. Today, I packed up more of my things. My rooms seems to be slowly disappearing. All my pictures, radio, and posters that once littered my room are gone. I've gone through boxes of keepsakes and discarded what I don't want anymore as well as made a box of unmentionables exes, filled with cards, pictures and old notes. More importantly I have a box of best friends. Currently, I have many notes from Brooke and a few from Krissy that I've ran across.
My final conclusion with packing? I'm not a fan.

Love And Other Drugs

Last night I went to the Cinemark Theater in Merriam with delightful Shannon. I highly recommend this movie to anyone 18 or older. It is certainly rated R for a very precise reason. It contains a good deal of nudity but it isn't too overwhelming. Jake Gyllenhall and Anne Hathaway star in witty romance. They don't portray the cliche couple either. Maggie has been diagnosed with early onset Parkinson's disease which severely complicates her life. This couple starts off as just a series of booty calls and develops into so much more. These are two people who have no problem taking their clothes but has an issue opening up to each other. Every time Jamie begins to get close to Maggie she breaks it off and tries to push him away. He never walks away from her though. It portrays the test of love and what true love is. The ending is very endearing. Unfortunately, there isn't a list of quotes out yet or I would post my favorite ones. It's a movie not only worth seeing but worth buying after it's released.

7am poetry message

Oh! What luck led us to here?
What conversations so sincere?
What whims and fancies drew our hearts,
To have courage to speak our secret parts?
What cryptic mysteries do reside,
Within those beauteous honest eyes?
Which brighten your visage, sweet cherubim,
With an aureol of darkened hair so prim.
Your lips so gently embrace your words
Of which the likes have never been heard
For your every word is holy(!) poetry
Your every breath takes the breath from me
Your smile 'twas stolen from a goddess
That used to haunt mighty mount olympus
And our stories so precisely tell
Of our journey back from a holy hell
And whither now do we go from here?
Luck shall lead, we must not fear.

I message I received before I went to school. Needless to say it has brightened my day tremendously. This is probably the best message I have ever woken up to to say the least. =)

P.s. Rugby updates are on their way.

Brotherly love

Today was one of the days I love. A day where I can actually see and spend sometime with my brothers. About ninety-five percent of the time I'm at work before they get home and by the time I get back they are in bed. Today was different though. I was off around 8 which meant I could spend quality time with the boys. I helped Cole out some with his project and Mason and I read to a certain degree.

He recognizes some words already. He brought me a book that he could "read". He is hardly reading though. He memorizes what people say to him. It is extremely clever. He "read" me the entire book without a problem. After I figured out that he memorized the book I grabbed something different. He can sound words out and read them but he is obnoxiously stubborn. When he is done with something there isn't any way to change his mind. It was awesome just hanging out with him and seeing him learn.

After we stopped reading we went to his room and we watch Transformers or rather just his favorite part of Transformers. It was late so I had to come to bed myself. It's heart wrenching to think that in just a few more weeks I won't be able to do these things anymore. The sleep overs in my room won't happen, watching their favorite movies before bed, teaching them rugby and showing them all my crazy bruises, wrestling and goofing off, and just seeing them grow up. I'll even miss this stupid dog that messes up my bed and gets in my stuff all the time.

I'm going to miss my brothers the most.

Rugby Weekend: Ozark Tournament

I attended my very first Rugby Tournament this past weekend. It was an incredible experience. Ten of our girls made the trip and we were able to recruit 2 mid-mo girls (Kerra and Cooper) to join us. The trip was off to a rough start. The car I rode in was originally supposed to leave first but due to some members not being ready we left 2.5 hours later than we planned. It was a long car ride but we finally made it to Little Rock. The five of us shared a room and split up between the 2 beds. Krista and Terris on one, Wolf, Jackie and I on the other. It was crowded and morning came too early the next day. And thus the weekend began.

First I learned that playing two Rugby games in a day is very intense. Need an example? On average a forward runs about 2.2 miles a game. That alone seems crazy. I don't run that much unless I'm in game or at one of Chrissy's fitness practice. Our first game was against Memphis. These girls definitely eat their Wheaties. They were huge. It wasn't just a few of them but ALL of them were this big. It didn't help that we were 2 people short as well. Their coach didn't want to play down to our numbers and therefore had a monumental advantage. They made many goals the first half. We were able to hold our ground during the 2nd though. We were able to obtain another player, "Canada". She was fantastic. We ended up getting shut out but they were only able to make two tries during the last half.

Our second game went much better though. We dominated the team. Most of them were rookies. I played much better during this game. I wasn't nearly as timid as I had been and I played pretty aggressively. It was awesome. The girls were very cool as well.

We hung around the field for a little after our games and enjoyed some of the men matches. It was quite cold Saturday and we decided to instill a cuddle huddle. It was awesome. We had to make some adjustments though. A few people didn't break sweats despite the fact that they were offered some pregame.....Kerra. Kerra and I ultimately teamed up to fight the cold and held our own cuddle huddle. It worked out better than originally planned until she jacked something of mine and then it turned into a wrestling match. Being as Kerra used to be in wrestling it is unwise to wrestle her. She pulled a slick move that made me think she was going to break my ankle but eventually gave up fighting and I ended up pinning her. It was quite the scene. Our little shenanigan had nothing on Tweaker though.

Tweak... well she is probably the craziest of the group. Her little escapade ended up in her being grounded that night and had to remain behind while we all went to the social. Basically she blacked out and did very crazy things like attacked a KC Rouges player, biting Kerra, and showing up in Hooters in her sports bra. Needless to say she wasn't allowed to go out that night.

The social was a blast. We all wore our ugly dresses and I was forced to wear my Olive Oyl Dress. I made it look dashing with a pleather dollhouse jacket. Picture are to come. I met many people that night courtesy of my rookie hat. I enjoyed myself along with the rest of the team. We all had our fair share of dancing before I was sent home in the first car. It was a good time for me to go and resulted in me getting a little more sleep than some of the other players.

There was a slight controversy for our last game. The previous day we were asked to play a different team because some people didn't think we would be enough competition for the St. Louis team. We declined and decided to play them and were able to recruit another person so we had a full team. We were tied at the half with one try each. The second half they ended up scoring 2 tries and ultimately won the game. We played extremely well and held our ground the entire time.

The ride how was an event in itself. I switched cars for convenience. I rode in Brenna's car since she lives only 15-20 minutes away from me. Our ride consisted of stopping at Cock of the Walk restaurant and taking a picture at the sign. The place was too expensive and we instead went to a Mexican restaurant with the people in Chrissy's car. Our car played never have I evers and shared stories via text with Chrissy's. It was awesome and quite comical. I finally have pictures from the trip and will post them soon

Moving

Due to recent circumstances at home I'm going to be more than likely be moving. I'm about 90% sure it's going to happen. It's not necessarily what I want to do but it's the most logical and rational option I have right now. The hardest thing will be leaving my family especially my brothers. It'll be different and I'm not quite sure how I'm going to handle the change. We'll see I guess. It should be happening at the end of the month.

Demo =)

Friday Night I visited Michael Hilboldt on my way home and picked up his very first demo cd. He played his new song for me to hear which was completely awesome. It was a extremely uplifting. I can't wait for him to post it on his myspace. His demo contains
"Coming Home", "You got me", and "There's a story behind every note" (His favorite song). They can be found on his myspace page http://www.myspace.com/sittingincolor#
and "You got me" doesn't normally have the drums in it. The wrong recording was uploaded. I'll be sure to post when his next show is. I'm very proud of him. He has come so far with his music and I'll miss him next year when he goes to San Diego.

Vampire Diaries

I don't watch a plethora of television but I do have a handful of shows I watch regularly: Grey's Anatomy (first thing I do after I get home Thursday nights. Best show ever.), Private Practice, Friday Night Lights, Desperate Housewives, Glee, and Vampire Diaries. My top shows all contain amazing music especially Grey's, Private Practice and Vampire Diaries. Below is my favorite song from last night's episode of Vampire Diaries. The music alone is enough to get you hooked (They played Mumford and Sons earlier this season) not to mention the two lead male roles are very gorgeous ;)

Comin' Home by Michael Hilboldt

Comin' Home by Michael Hilboldt
My favorite artist's latest song. I am getting his very first demo this week. I am super excited.

Time Traveler's Wife

I finally managed to find time to finish this book. My school work only slightly suffered. I mainly read at night and stayed up much later than I should have. It was all worth it though. This book is delightful and at some points excruciatingly depressing. I found myself in tears today in the library as I finished it up.

I tend to love books with different perspectives which made this one a hit. I love different view points of when Clare met Henry and then when Henry met Clare. This novel portrayed how much love really means to some people. Clare was in this for the long haul. She knew it would never be normal, they it would be difficult yet she stuck with it. She stayed with Henry despite how worried she constantly was, how no one understood, and how much she missed him. She loved him unconditionally and never once stopped. I hope to discover this type of love one day. A person that won't walk away when things aren't easy, that is always going to stick around and be there. That's what true love is all about.

My weakness is I care too much

I hate missing people. The end.

I'm a Rugger

I've had some time to experience Rugby: the practices, the games, and the socials. I love being able to call myself a rugger. The game is challenging mentally and physically. The game is constantly changing and you must adapt if you want possession of the ball and ultimately the win. It requires much endurance and running. I recently realized how much my endurance has grown after going to Zumba toning. It used to tire me out but after all the running Chrissy forced us to do it was a breeze. I by no means enjoy all this running but it's necessary. I am playing for Kstate this Saturday in Manhattan. Yes, I did saying playing FOR Kstate. I know that is very shocking considering how much I bash Kstate. It's all for the sake of rugby. I love playing and with every game I learn and gain more experience. Our tournament is the weekend after in Little Rock which brings me to our social.

This past Saturday we decided to panhandle our way through Waldo for donations. We ended up making around 300 dollars which I think is quite successful. We had some team bonding experiences and mayhem throughout the night. I love how ridiculous we can be and how we just accept each other just as we are. It's a lovely thing to be be apart of.

Our War

Choices

Choice 1

Face it or Deny it
OR
When you refuse to change, you end up in chains.
Do not end up like concrete, all mixed up and permanently set.

Choice 2
Get counseling or suffer as a victim OR don't consume your tomorrows feeding on your yesterdays
OR
Today is the day to decide to go through what you've been going through.
Some of us stay in the same hopeless situation and "We wear it well." Never making a firm decision to make change.

Choice 3
Forgive or become a prisoner to bitterness
Bitter or Better. You can be in Who's who versus asking "why me?"
You know, some of us had some pretty rotten t hings done to us. Those perpetrators, those individuals that hurt us may not deserve forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not for the person, forgiveness is for YOU.

Choice 4
Go with your life or become stagnated.
The best time to being is NOW.

We all have choices in our life. It is up to us to decide how to react to the situations we are put in. Life can change in a second. We can die tomorrow so live for the day. Let the people you love know it, see it, and feel it. Don't waste your life away and wait until it's too late.

Chapter 1 Paper- Intro to practicum

Everyone has reasons or motives for most of their decisions. This holds true in choosing a career path as well. People can choose and aspire to be a wielder, a math teacher, a librarian, a musician, a nurse, a social worker, the list goes on. These motivates can include but aren't limited to talent, interest, and personal reasons.

I choose to be in the helping profession my junior year. I was talking about possible careers with my mom in the kitchen and she brought up counseling. I talked to my school counselor and she agreed, I would be a good counselor. She said that I empathized with the fellow people in our stress group very well and I seemed to always be able to understand their situation and feelings. I never told them what to do exactly but I was able to provide suggestions and/or questions to help them. I feel as though I work well with people and I can usually put myself in their shoes and empathize with their situation.

I'm extremely interested in this field. I love talking to people about what is going on in their life and discussion the obstacles they have overcome. I enjoy learning different perspectives on life and how people process different events. I love learning about people.

Personally I love helping people whether it's big or small. I frequently let people know that they can call me at any hour if they need help with anything. I love being there when someone needs something. I've realized most of this stems from my childhood. I know what it's like to feel as though no one is there and to not have a solid support system. I don't wish that upon anyone and I try to lend a hand whenever possible. I also had a less than helpful social worker. I didn't feel as though I was being heard or that what was going on was important. I want people especially kids to feel like they do matter and their is hope for their future even if it doesn't seem that way now.

My main personal characteristic that I posses is I am generally caring. I care about people as a whole whether it be an old or new friend or someone I might not even really like. I still care. I'm a very caring individual. I also seem to understand most people to some point. No one can completely understand a given situation but empathy can be used. I am great at empathizing with people. I feel as though these are two very important characteristics to posses in the helping professional.

The most important work value to me is that my vocation fits my interests which goes hand in hand with the opportunity to serve people. As I said, I simply love being able to help people. A smile can make a work of difference or simply holding the door open for someone. Little things matter and I try to do things to improve people's day. Next would be inner harmony. I feel as though this aspect is important because if a person is chaotic inside and harmony is destroyed then those aspects will effect how every situation is handle. It makes people less rational than they would normally be if there was inner peace/harmony. The last work value would be job security. I would like to feel secure in my practice and know that I will be able to provide and support myself and in the future my family. Money isn't the most important aspect of life but it is needed to survive in today's society.

Broken Promises

I'm letting go you see
there isn't a point really
to hold on to what used to be
when it's so clear you let go of me

I held on to the last strands
I offered every possible helping hand
It's never seemed good enough for you
I guess our friendship was never enough too

I did the best I could
I did everything I thought I should
I didn't walk away from this
I didn't break those promises

I don't think I'll ever understand
how you just let go of my hand
and never looked back
never tried to get on track

I probably should have realized
That you would never legitimately try
I think deep down I knew
but I wouldn't be another person to give up on you

I'm letting go now
I figure I can break this vow
You already beat me to it though
Because it's always been you who let go.

Sometimes I really wonder if I'll be any good as a social worker/ counselor.

I thought I knew

Dum Da Da 3Js

Junk: My physical fitness. My body hurts so much. Mainly it's just my neck right now. I am not a runner, not yet anyway. I have also dealt with some of the most idiotic people this past week. It's frustrating. Some people never learn.

Joy: I had so much joy. Rugby went really well. We won 59-5. I was given feedback and told I did pretty well and I was always aggressive and in the middle of what was going on. That made me feel so much better. I didn't feel like I did much. I ran the ball a few times and such but I wasn't completely sure on what was going on the whole time or where I should be. We hardly ever have the entire team at one practice and some things you can't learn without at least the whole team. We have our next game in KC against KU.

I was able to hangout with some of my most amazing friends this weekend as well. We ended up only having on game so I made it to Stations of the Cross. I hung out with Kristen and Nicole for the most part. It was great. We chilled in the hammock. At one point in the night Kristen and I got lost in the woods. It was kinda scary but if I had to be lost with anyone I'm glad it was her. We eventually found our way back out. Sunday I was able to hang out with Steph after youth group. Somehow she always gets scared. We were sitting int he car and I moved my foot and it made a funny noise and she about freaked out. Too funny. It was an awesome weekend

Jesus: We had youth this weekend at St. Sabina. The topic of the night was symbols for God. We discussed what color reminds us of God and what symbol. Then we made either that symbol or another one out of clay. Mine was a butterfly. It doesn't look too shabby considering I've had only one art class since 6th grade.

Scc was a big part of my week too. This week I talked about my mother. Brooke was in Florida so Kirstie was the only one who knew about that part of my life. I can talk about it I just don't really enjoy it. It was a good night. We all shared a lot.

3 Js from last week

I know this is slightly late considering it's now Tuesday. But better late than never right?

Junk: I had a bunch of junk with work this week. I ended up working 11 extra hours at Price Chopper. It was very chaotic and stressful

Joy: I was able to listen to piano music at the end of the previous week from David and I was able to listen Destiny play as well. The piano is honestly my favorite instrument. I also met a ton of people this past weekend. All of them were really awesome people that I plan on hanging out with as much as possible. I hung out at ihop until nearly 4am with a bunch of Matt and Andrew's friends. I loved how everyone was different yet accepting of each other. It was really cool. The second group of people I hung out with were all hardcore Christians and I actually knew most of them to some extent. They have a lot to do with my Jesus moment

Jesus: Friday night Marie and I were going to hang out at her church thing. Well I was roped into staying late at work so instead we all just met up at Nathan's house to hang out. We were playing halo reach when Marie left to go get Ricky (her brother) and we they came back everything was put on hold. Ricky was fired up and said we had to stop what we were doing and listen because this really big thing was happening. Basically, this girl we work with was struggling with her life and asked Ricky about some things and he knew this was an oppurtunity to bring God into her life. He ended up calling her to tell her all the answers and things he wanted to say while we stayed inside and prayed. It was amazing. Nathan ending up apologizing to me later about it being awkward and I told him it wasn't at all. It was.... wow. That's all I can really say. Most of the Jesus and God events happen at church or with the people I attend church with. It was crazy awesome. I really loved it.

This is me

Earlier this summer a person told me that I was doing things they never would have thought I could do and how great it was, how great I was. I told them it was crap. I wasn't doing anything great because I wasn't. I was doing things because I was running or rather my sense of running. I had three jobs to get away from everything I was feeling. It helped distract me. I jumped before I was ready with things like my mother and then I would have major freak outs. I was far from great. I was barely hanging on and the only thing that kept me going was the promise I made to myself. I said I wouldn't ever be the person I was the year before. I wouldn't go back to that. I felt like that person at times but somethings were different. I was more social. I didn't stay in my room all the time. I was sure to do something that made my happy multiple times a week. I cried close to everyday. I didn't feel like I wasted my summer though. I had some really awesome times with people and I let myself be crazy and awkward.

That person came up to me today and said that statement, not like he/she would, but if someone did I would agree with them. I am not running now. I'm living. I have two jobs, school, church, and rugby. I'm doing things I would have been to afraid to do before. I am making new friends and expanding my horizons. I'm not slacking off in school nearly as much (even though I'm not studying right now) and I'm reaching out more than I ever have. I'm honest with myself. I hangout with my family more now. My dad and I actually talk. It's nothing really deep but we do talk and it's a lot more than we used to.

I've been thinking about all this recently. I don't like people to tell me they're proud of me if they don't have a legitimate reason to be. If you want to be "hey I'm proud of you" I don't want it to be because I was doing things to run away from my problems. I don't want people to be proud of me for something I'm not proud of me for. Yea I worked an insane amount of hours and I'm not sure how I managed it but I didn't do it because I wanted to challenge myself. The things I'm doing now are challenging me. Rugby is challenging me. School is challenging me. God is challenging me. I am proud of myself for what I'm doing now. It's legitimate.

Rugby

I had my first rugby practice Tuesday night. It was the coolest thing since Koolaid.
I love it more than any other sport. I might just love it more than basketball. I learned how to throw and catch the ball. It's different than football. You can't throw the ball forward only sideways and backwards. It takes a little getting used to. After our coach taught me that, she showed me how to ruck (similar to tackling). Then I did some drills. I was told I was picking it up pretty well. My main problem was I wasn't confident in what I was doing and I kept hesitating at first or I would forget to step into my throw. I just have to work on some technique issues and essentially just play. Submerge myself in the game and stop thinking about what the next step is as much. Our next practice is tonight. I already bought my ball and mouth guard. I just have to pick up some cleats and I'm set to go.

Who's right?

People tend to be either religious, spiritual, or non believing. To be spiritual means that you believe in God but you don't necessarily believe in a denominational church such as Baptist, Catholic, Lutheran, and so on. People consistently argue about whether or not which if any are the "right" church. I believe that they are all right and none of them are right as well.

Religion is a paradox. People who attend church are not saints and without sin. They mess up just like the people who don't go to church. The people who don't attend a service aren't evil either. People are a mixture of black and white, blessed and wicked. The same holds true for the churches. They are ran by man. Yes, it is in the spirit of God which ultimately tilts the leveler to blessed but that doesn't mean that the church is always right. We know this with the scandals that have occurred. Catholics know this very well. Catholicism is the oldest form of Christianity and has had it's share of mistakes throughout it's history.

I love being Catholic. I love my church and all the people in it. I don't always agree with the church though. However, I do agree with the majority of it. I believe in structure and in going to mass. Mass is similar to a class. We participate in learning about God through the readings and teachings. It stays fresh in our minds this way. I'm not perfect and I do miss some services but it's easier to see how much mass effects my life.

There have been time periods where I didn't attend mass.I also didn't think as much about God and my amount of praying also decreased. I believe in order to be present in your belief church is a key source. It's similar to any career. To stay updated and present in it, one must do some reading and further learning. That is why church services are important.

Which services is right one to attend though? Only you can decide that. Everyone talks to God in their own unique way, even within the same church. People should go to the church that they feel most comfortable in, that helps them further their faith the most. Every church congregates for the same reason: to pray, learn, and worship God. It is the same God in all the christian churches. Each one is simply talking to God in a different way.

3 Js

Junk: All the ridiculous drama people start. People whom you've never even actually met. I let it get to me and was upset and angry about it.

Joy: Hanging out with my friends and meeting some super awesome people. I was able to see Krissy and hang out with Kailee with week. Kristen and I have talked all week like normal and today she just kept me rolling.

Jesus: I met a guy yesterday and he asked me if I went to church and we talked a little about God and religion. It was cool. It's hard to come by people who are passionate about their faith.

Acceptance

This week I've been thinking about "fitting in" and being accepted by other people. Youth starts next Sunday and high school kids tend to have a tough time with this. Correction many people seem to have a tough time with this. I've learned something through participating in our youth program.

First, all my most successful and legitimate friendships are people I attend church with. They are the ones that last, the ones that are always there, they are the most consistent.

Secondly, these people know who I am. They know where I've been and where I want to go. They accept me for simply being me. They accept that I am a sometimes crazy rambunctious person and other times I am extremely quiet or serious. They accept my goofy and random attitude and my seriousness in my faith. I'm not perfect and I do somethings that are against the church but I honestly love being Catholic. I love my church and everyone there.

Fitting in and having a billion friends is obnoxious if you aren't showing your true colors. If a person can't except you JUST as you are then it isn't worth it. Being fake and following the crowd isn't something that will make you successful. Eventually, the people will see the real you and not the person you are trying to be and there is a good chance they will ditch you. It's more important to have friends that know the real you. They will be legitimate companions. They will help you grow and mature.

I'm a goofy, awkward girl. I love to learn new things and I tend to push myself to the limit. I'm devoted to the things I love and I tend to follow through with all the decisions I make. I will be there for anybody. I work more than I should and I am just recently starting to cut back to fit more God and me time in my life. I have a terrible temper at points but I've yet to get into an actual fist fight with anyone. I have freak out attacks when people get close to me. I would die for my brothers. Yeah there are a ton of my friends that don't know nearly everything about me but they know what I'm about. Those people that love me for simply being me are the people I want to be awesome friends with. I'm not going to put on a show and be something I'm not. The real question is are you?

The 3 Js

Today I decided to listen to some of my pod casts and one of the things I subscribe to is "In Between Sundays." You guys should check it out. One of the things they discussed was the three Js of every week: Junk, Joy, and Jesus. I think I'm going to start doing these at least once a week. Anyone who wants to do this too is more than welcome.

Junk: My junk last week was all the stressing about one of my friends. It affected my sleep especially the late night phone calls.

Joy: I found out I was one of the 5 kids who received over an 80% on my history test.

Jesus: Sunday we had a meeting to start our youth/confirmation nights. We discussed how we wanted the year to go. We have some new adults helping out this year. Our team is slightly small at the moment but I'm pretty excited for the year to start.

The brain is an amazing organ. It controls everything, your emotions, your personality, your memory. It can block out traumatic or stressful events. It can also return memories you thought you put away. A scent, a saying, a dream can bring things back with perfect clarity. Sometimes I wish it couldn't do those things.

Reflection with teacher comments

being a 13 year old girl made it rather difficult to talk to him no doubt

When I think of my mom, she is who I picture. She has been there for me through everything. I couldn't ask for a better mom. at least she was able to connect with you

I just wanted to meet people and have fun. After our annual retreat, Search, things changed Wow-they still do that program? I was involved in the founding of this. We used to do one a month at the dioceasan level I thought this was really cool. I haven't met any teachers who knew what search was. We briefly talked about it after class.

Friends are something else that shapes us. Do we also shape them? I believe we do. In any friendship both people play a part in the other person's actions

We confided in each other and always understood what the other one was going through. It's rare to find a friend that good I know it is. I knew it at the time too.

Unfortunately, friendships dissolve and people grow apart and don't always cross paths again. It takes work to maintain the friendship I know this. It's the other people that need to figure it out. I constantly try with people and it's dang near impossible for me to walk away. I think people who know and realize that tend to think they can walk all over me. I think many people believe it should be easy and anything that requires legit effort isn't worth it. They won't get far in life.

What role do you play in the process?
I'm still figuring that out.

Reflection: Who makes you the person you are?

Our parents shape our lives from infancy. They provide us with their genetic make up, our looks, our characteristics. They along with our other relatives raise us and teach us through out our life. It all starts there. I started life with my parents who were still kids themselves. Their relationship didn't work and I along with my sister ended up in the custody of my mother. It stayed that way until the end of my freshman year. Conflicts had been going on for a few years and during this particular year it was too much. I ended up being removed from her custody and placed in my dad's near the end of the year. I lived with a friend until the school year ended then I moved to Missouri.

Living with my dad was quite different. For starters, I now had two stable parents and two very young brothers. I realized my dad wasn't the super hero I had always dreamed him to be and being a 13 year old girl made it rather difficult to talk to him. Christy, my step-mom, reached out and we soon developed a strong bond. When I think of my mom, she is who I picture. She has been there for me through everything. I couldn't ask for a better mom.

I started my Sophomore year at Ray-Pec knowing no one. I ended up meeting Jake during one of my classes though. We became friends and since we were both catholic he introduced me to St. Sabina. I hadn't been to church in years and at first I wasn't interested in going for the right reasons. I just wanted to meet people and have fun. After our annual retreat, Search, things changed. I wanted to be there and I have been extremely involved ever since. This past year I directed Search. It was my favorite Search by far. That year I was searching to forgive my mother for everything and I was able to a few months later. Not to mention that I had a great team and I was able to share the weekend with my current best friend, Megan.

Friends are something else that shapes us. They show us who we are and who we can be. I've had some amazing friends since I've moved here. Brooke and her family (the Samsons) helped me expand on my faith. They are my spiritual family, since no one in my own house goes to church. Brooke is essentially my sister. We have known each other for 5 years now and we've been through a lot. She has witnessed all my ups and downs since I moved here. We don't always see eye to eye but somehow we find ways to always support each other. Brooke introduced me to Andrew. At times she wished she didn't. Andrew and I ended up dating and that relationship was an epic fail. We have repaired it and now we are good friends but it took a long time to get there. Through Andrew I met many people though. People I won't ever forget. Kristen and Megan are two of those people. When I met them I couldn't go further down. I was broken and had no where to go but up. Kristen started me on this. We talked most days and listened to each others difficulties. One day we were talking about her and I said numerous things that seemed to help her and that restored my faith. She helped me want to make a legit effort again. She is one of my closest friends today. Megan was different from everyone. During the Andrew era we never became friends or talked and then somehow things changed. We started talking periodically and soon it was all day, everyday. We confided in each other and always understood what the other one was going through. We always supported each other and had the best communication. She helped me take risks and reach out to people even when I was terrified. Her support and belief in me help me tremendously. She noticed how hard I had been trying and knew the person I wanted to be. Unfortunately, friendships dissolve and people grow apart and don't always cross paths again.

One other friend that influences my life is Krissy. She always is on my side even when I'm not. I met her during my first Search as a team member and we've been on two mission trips that have brought us closer together. Krissy makes me want to be a better person and a better role model. Her and I are able to goof around and dance in the rain all day and at the end of it have a serious conversation. She went away to college but so far that hasn't stopped our friendship. We still randomly call each other to provide some sunshine and a good laugh or serious talk. She always seems to brighten my day.

A novel can be written about the people that have changed our lives. Some people come to teach us a lesson, to introduce us to something new. Other are here for much longer. We can effect how much influence a person's gives us as well. If we are ready and willing to let people into our lives, into our hearts, they can change everything.

New School Year

I've been in school a week now and I pretty much know how my classes are going to go. My practicum class was moved to Monday nights which is slightly annoying because now I'll have to ask for another day off work. Philosophy is going to be my favorite class. Our instructor is hilarious and straight forward. We have reflection papers we have to write over the semester. I'll try to post them on here.

Last day =(

We went out with a bang at least. Our last day was sad especially since our new friends couldn't work with us. Some people from their team were "sick" so they had to work at different houses. We finished painting all the rooms in the house and we were even able to get 2 coats on most of it. Painting ceilings isn't ideal and if any of you are forced to do it I suggest wearing a hat. I still have paint stuck in my hair. It is near impossible to get out. Glasses might also be another safety feature to have. I had a couple close calls and at one point paint actually landed on my eye. Thankfully I closed it before any paint got in it. Katie and Sam were able to come eat lunch with us and I brought The Game of Things that day so we occupied ourselves with that until Ben came back and put us to work. It was a good day.We ended the work day early so we could go to mass at the cathedral.We invited Katie and Sam to join and they were going to call us when they were cleaned up.

Our group ended up splitting up after the cathedral. Most of the group wanted to go shopping while others of us (Jeff, Drew, and myself) weren't interested. Instead we looked for a Cajun place to eat and instead found a cute and relatively new place called the Royal Deli. It was delicious. I hope to return there next time we visit. I had my first legit poboy. Amazing. The restaurant didn't have any matching silverware, tables, or even chairs. This made us love it even more. It was unique and had some awesome art pieces.

We walked our way back to the hotel and Kirstie proceeded to teach me how to walk like a girl. We worked on this and made the boys talk about guy things. It was entertaining. We also stopped by Cafe Du Monde on the way home to pick up Beignets. Katie and Sam were already hanging out in our hotel pool with another one of their roommates. We hung out with them until they left for the night. Then we packed up our stuff and hung out with the guys until we were ready to go to sleep.

The car ride home was uneventful. It mainly involved playing with Roxy. It was a much better trip than last year. I'm glad I was able to go. I enjoyed everyone there and loved the girls we met.

Let's get in Painted in herr

The caulking is finally finished!!!!!! Brooke and I finished it up and by the time lunch came around I only had to do the linen closet. Then the painting began. It isn't much better than caulking, it's just as messy but it isn't as lonely of a job. I painted with Brooke, Phil, Katie, and Sam. Katie and Sam are two girls from Americacorps and they are super awesome. At first I wasn't a fan but we all warmed up to each other. They have great music taste. We finished the bedroom we were in and all that is left is the closet of that room. Sam painted Katie's hair which was very humorous since she didn't ever notice. I painted part of Brooke's arm and Katy (from our group) left a hand print on my shorts. It was pretty fun.

Tonight was a blast. It was the best night I've had here so far. We went to the Camilla Grill again for dinner but this time Joni and Keith and Sam and Katie joined us. Everyone in our group except Kirstie road the street car there. The plan was to get on at Canal St which is still a walk from our hotel..........what we didn't know was that the street car wasn't running down there due to the parade. We had to walk at least another ten blocks to get to the stop that could take us to dinner.

Dinner was good. Joni and Keith paid for my meal which was extremely thoughtful of them. I visited with them the entire time and I am very excited for when they come up KC at the end of August. Joni has the cutest accent. I love the way she says my name. I went back to the hotel with Kirstie and we brought Katie and Sam to meet Roxy. Sam loves cats. Needless to say she loved Roxy. We all hung out for awhile and they are extremely awesome. It'll be sad to seem them go. We are probably hanging out with them tomorrow too. We are all going to exchange info and I suggested we send them a care package containing the second volume of Glee. They haven't seen it yet since they don't have the internet.

It was a fantastic day. =)

Vampire Lore

Today called for.....more caulking. I do loathe it with a passion. I didn't get nearly as messy this time around. I wish I wasn't good at so he would tell me to do something else. Brooke brighten my day however by letting me use the nail gun. We should finish all the caulking tomorrow....hopefully.

We just chilled around the hotel after work and ordered pizza. It was pretty awesome. After we ate a few of us gathered around to play the game of things. It is a hilarious game I bought specifically for this trip. We had a good time and I definitely was losing. Steven was whopping us. I can't wait until tomorrow when hopefully I can get my act together and own them all.

For our evening activity we went on a haunted history type tour. We did this last year with a different company and tonight always included vampire lore. It was very cool. They guy wasn't nearly entertaining as the one from last year but he did tell us how accurate the information was and whether or not it was documented. My favorite story is Mansion Lalaurie. It was extremely creepy. I'll let you check it out for yourself though

Caulk Anyone?

Phil and I finished the spindles on the side porch rather early in the day. Ben's next assignment for me??? Caulking..... I despise this job. It is very messy and it ended up all over my clothes. I was able to help out with the windows though and that required the nail gun. I love this machine. It is my favorite.

For dinner we visited the Hard Rock Cafe. We rocked out to many songs....well the ones we knew anyway. I sat with my roommates and we had a good time. Many jokes were said and Sarah was quite hilarious and rather inappropriate. Joni wasn't able to join us because Keith couldn't get home in time (My relatives that reside down here). Some unfortunate drama stuff happened but it didn't last long and it is forgotten already. My tan is coming along rather nicely.

Cajun Good Time

Our first day of work was a good one. It wasn't terribly hot and I worked in the shade for the most part. Phil and I put hand rails and spindles on the porch and I also helped clean the house a bit.

After work we mainly played in the pool. It involved random games like holding your breath the longest, dunking each other, jumping in random ways, playing water ninja (I won!!!), colors, races, and just acting crazy. It started raining during part of our mayhem but that didn't stop us. I love playing in the pool while it's raining, as long as there isn't lightning.

Tonight for dinner we went to a Cajun restaurant. It was delicious and I am extremely full. Brooke and I shared a craw fish platter and a soup thing she picked out. It was delicious. We also had some alligator bites and oysters. All of these was fried. I am really hoping to find some normal craw fish, the ones you have to break and eat the meat out.

Don't talk to me until I've been on the Bayou

Everyone knows the saying "Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee" but coffee isn't anything compared to the bayou. Being on the water and watching all the walks of life is what God gave us for a pick me up. If you didn't guess already we visited the bayou this morning. Our mission? To go on an Alligator Swamp tour. It was successful! It was extremely enjoyable. The bayou alone could convince me to move here. I really love the city. It has nothing on the bayou though. They have houses or campsites right off the water! We saw a few alligators and learned a plethora of information. We learned about the types of trees, hunting, snakes, alligator attacks, and life on the bayou. It was breathtaking. Pictures will be featured below.

The rest of the day consisted of shopping in the French Market. I bought some awesome shirts, earrings, perfume oils, and 2 pairs of sunglasses (one of which isn't for me). My favorite shirt has the bp logo on it and says fubp. My earrings are fleur de lis and the guy orginally wanted $20 but I purchased them for $10. Oh and I got a new car charger for 8 dollars. It was a successful day.

For dinner we ate at our favorite restraunt, The Camellia Grill. The host remembered us from the previous years too. We were all able to sit together which has never happened. We'll be there again later this week.

Car Ride (Day 1)

The car ride was....long. I slept most of the way. I needed to catch up on some zzzzz's and try to get the circles under my eyes to disappear. We stopped in Jacksonville and took some pictures. Steven is an insane driver and there were a few times I was slightly afraid to be in the car. However we did make it alive.

Bourbon Street welcomed us back right away. We weren't even here an hour before we were already walking on it. We needed to eat dinner and that was the closest street to us. Our main mission is to protect Katie since she is the only minor. We are constantly surrounding her. Our hotel is nice aside from the creepers outside. I just checked and they are still out there. We are armed with my hammer.... Bmax. Hopefully we won't need it. All of our windows and door are locked though.

Quotes from today

Becka:"You are a hoetail"

Brooke:"A hoetail son of a tic fa"

becka: i love this blanket
brooke: it's fuzzy...
becka: (to katie) feel it!
katie feels it.
becka: it's so soft
katie: i know haha i felt it when you were asleep

Katie: Becka turn your vibrator off. It upsets me.
(She lost her phone and mine went off)

TEC Congress

I only was able to experience the hoot Saturday night but that in itself was amazing. I wish I could have participated in all of it. Anyways, the hoot was incredible. I have never felt so happy, accepted, and outgoing. I am normally pretty reserved but I was in no way shape or form reserved that night. Shannon and I started the dancing. She suggested it and I was totally in. I encouraged everyone I knew. Sadly though I could only get Kristen to dance with us. The night wasn't over though.

The Mikey Needleman band provided the tunes and they were great. I already have the pleasure of owning them on my ipod (thanks again Shannon). Eventually, everyone was dancing. It was fantastic. Pictures and videos are to come. We even were able to get Mary to dance!!!! She was embarrassed and didn't want to seem awkward. I told her that being awkward was the whole point. Hello! Look at Shannon and I we are insanely awkward all the time. I guess we are good awkward and she isn't. I was very proud of her when she came and joined us out of her own free will.

It was the best night of my summer. I haven't felt that great in a while. I felt a true sense of belonging and friendship. We were all joined together by God and that gave us a deeper connection. Being insane, awkward, and just dancing like goof balls was the best part. I can't wait until my next TEC.

Vbs Finale

The last day of Vbs was very tiring. By this point I was extremely exhausted but it was still an awesome time. In bible voyage we essentially had a party. We discussed what it was like to be part of the in crowd and how it felt to be left out. Afterward we had snacks, each representing part of a bible story from previous days, and wrote thank you letters to people on Vbs.

Most kids wrote to their parents or relatives that were helping out. I got three which warmed my heart greatly. Tanner, Gabby, and Trinity each gave me one. And of course we all wrote each person in our group so I have those too. It was really rewarding. I wish my brothers would have been there the last day. It was a blast.

I can't wait until next year. This year was definitly my favorite year. A lot of it had to do with sharing the experience with Krissy and the other part were the kids in general. I met some new kids and the older ones I grew closer too. Gabby next to never left my side, she was always calling me over to her tarp and I was more than happy to oblige.

VBS Day 4

Today's adventure didn't start out as cheerful as the rest. Everyone was feeling tired and grumpy. It ended up being successful though. Today's story was much deeper than the rest.

Peter and John walked by a crippled man begging for money. Instead of giving them silver or gold they grabbed him by the hand and declare "In the name of Jesus Christ, you are healed." We showed the kids that although we are not all crippled physically we are crippled. We are crippled by sin. It's going to be okay though because Jesus came and took the punishment for our sins.

At the end of the day we did another skit. It wasn't specifically the theater people though. It was just volunteers. In fact, I was the only one out of our group to do it. Kirstie told the story as 3 of us walked up looked at Alex aka Jesus, and then nailed him to the cross. It was very cool. At the end Jesus came, lifted us up, and hugged us as a sign of our forgiveness.

I love the kids there even the Cesaer boys who constantly try to beat me up. They are fraternal twins. Will is bigger than Sam which I found out kind of upset Sam. He makes up for it with his amazing karate skills though. Will missed his opportunity to sneak into the Roman soldier's hide out today. We distracted Alex by everyone in our group, including the crew we had at the time, through cups of water on him. I guess we'll get it tomorrow. It was quite fun. I'm not worried.

The car dancing to and from VBS is definitely one of my favorite parts.

VBS Day 3

This adventure picked up in the middle of the sea. We were forced to swim ashore to an island inhabited my snakes. Not just any snakes though. These snakes were highly venomous. One bite will turn your skin purple, make your face swell like a balloon, and kill you..... just like that.

Pretty intense huh? Thankfully this bible story has a very happy ending. Paul doesn't die from the snake bit. It was a joy acting this skit out. We used red paint for the blood and a lea for a snake. The kids went right along pretending to swim in the ocean and huddle close to our makeshift fire for warmth.

I discovered my favorite song was Jump, Jump.

VBS Day 2

Yesterday was just as awesome. The bible story was about Paul being a prisoner on a ship and he comforted the captain and sailors as well as gave them food. We used a spray bottle which was extremely fun for us as well as the kids. Krissy acted first and I sprayed her a few times in the face. She got her revenge when it was my turn.... I was soaked. It was very fun.

We normally have some free time so I decided we could teach the kids the Chartreuse Buzzard song. I wasn't able to get on facebook to look at the video. Instead I called up my good friend Peter and had he sing the song to me and he did. It made my day. We only did it with one group though.

My brother's also attended which brought me much joy. They seemed to have fun too. The craft was a pillow that says "God's word is comforting." I used my ninja skills to get one. It is pretty cute if I do say so myself. Day two was of course another success.

VBS Day 1

Every year I volunteer to do the Theater part of VBS with the exception of the year I was grounded from it. This is my third year participating it now. Different people have volunteered with me but Ana Berkovitch has been there since the beginning. I greatly enjoy her company and watching her grow in her faith. She was just confirmed this past year and will be joining Team in the fall. I'm quite excited for that. This year we have the wonderful Krissy joining us and a girl named Abby whose family is very active in our parish.

Today was a great first day. Our first group was very entertaining. Two of the boys, who happen to be brothers, thought it would be great to beat me up during a game of duck,duck, goose! They were a blast. Ana's brother Alex also volunteers but he is in the game section. He is an important part of this story later. During our skits we have to hide from the Roman soldiers because they will arrest us for talking about Jesus or so we tell the children. Today they learned about Peter and the angel that rescued him from jail. Well these two little boys took the Roman solider story seriously and were constantly on the look out for them. During snack time they disclosed their elaborate plan to distract the Roman soldiers and enter their hide out. We told them Ana's brother was a soldier and that the hide out was the room outside of Kirstie's office.

The plan: Ana and I distract Alex while the boys sneak into the hide out and check it out. They wanted to see their weapons and such. Then the other people in their group keep the look out and if anyone come the youngest little boy was going to take him out with his karate skills. They came up with this all by themselves. It was pretty impressive. The little chatterboxes brought much entertainment and joy to the day. The youngest boy also said this during the game when he was picked as the goose, "This system is O-U-T.... locked!" He tried it again a few minutes later and rattle off some other letters and said out. It was very cute.

A boy in another group was also very charming. During one part we have to run and he goes. "I don't like to run." I instantly thought, "Yea kid....me either." Before I could tell him this he added..."I only like to run when I'm blind." It was quiet funny.

Day 1 of Sea ship Voyage was a success. My brothers are joining us for the next three days and they will be in the same group. Hopefully they behave. Last year Mason did it and Cole couldn't go because of summer school. Mason freaked out everyday. I had to hug him every morning during prayer and sing along and tell him it would be okay. He ended up having fun though. I'm excited for tomorrow.

Secretly, car dancing to church with Krissy is definitely one of my favorite parts.

What About Everything?

Fall Schedule (Hopefully)

Currently, I can't officially be enrolled in any of these classes due to the fact that Penn Valley says I have a library fine that I paid on the last day of school. I'm calling on Monday. Regardless I can still pick my classes and my schedule should look similar to this.

1. Intro into Philosophy (Phil 100) 8am-850am
   
2. Fundamentals of Speech (Spdr 100) or Music Appreciation (Musi 108) 9am-950am
3. Basic Counseling Skill (Hums 210) 10am-1050am
4. Intro into Practicum (Hums 168) 11am-1150am
5. American History prior to the Civil War (Hist 120) 12pm-1250pm

It's 13 credit hours. It should be finalize by Monday.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

I was search for Committed (Sequel to Eat, Pray, Love) when I came across this novel. Elizabeth Gilbert's review was on the front cover, "Treat yourself to this book......I can't recommend it highly enough." That was all i needed and I walked out of Target with this book in my hand.

She was right. It was a treat. The novel consists of letters and letters only. They are centered around Juliet who is trying to write another book and receives a letter from Dawsey and her journey begins. The book takes place right after WW2 and tells many tragedies that happened in the Island of Guernsey. I don't know the truth to these tales though.

Despite the tragedies the book is very charming and delightful. It'll make you use words such as ghastly and want to speak in a British accent for prolong periods of time. Everyone should read this. I've never felt more joy from a book than from this one.

Eat, Pray, Love

I finally read Eat, Pray, Love. It was simply amazing. It made me want to visit all the countries especially Italy. I am quite excited for the movie which comes out in August. I'm very pleased a dear friend of mine made me purchase the book. I think I'll read it again and then blog about it It's one of those books you have to read more than once to obtain it's full effect. Right now it is in the possession of Shannon who heard me rant on and on about all month. I highly recommend it.

Half Price Books and Dunn Brother's Coffee

Today my brothers and I ventured to Half Price books off of Metcalf. This is the closest one to our house and there was a very little chance of me getting lost. My brothers were good sports through this whole thing and ended up picking out a book for themselves. Mason got a car's activity book, while Cole bought two small chapter books. I had an armful of books that I look forward to reading (the list will be below). I spent under $50 for all of these books and a tin poster.

The trip gets better after I notice a local coffee shop next door. It is Dunn Bro Coffee. The menu was great and the prices were much cheaper than the Starbucks around the corner. Did I mention the employees? They were simply fantastic. You'll have to visit the place to know exactly what I mean. I bought the boys a Strawberry smoothie and myself a white chocolate frap.

I'll be a frequent costumer of both these places from now on.

Books I bought

• A Company of Swans - Eva Ibbotson
• A Song for Summer- Eva Ibbotson
• Sense and Sensibility- Jane Austen
• Emma -Jane Austen
• Northanger Abbey- Jane Austen
• Confessions of a Jane Austen Addict- Lauren Viera Rigler
• Atonement- Ian McEwan
• The Scarlet Letter- Nathaniel Hawthorne
• Nineteen Minutes- Jodi Picoult
  
• The Lovely Bones- Alice Sebold
  

I also purchased another book at Price Chopper. It is very cute and it is a present for a friend except I'm debating about keeping it for myself ;)

TY3

It was a taste of childhood watching Toy Story 3. The third movie didn't. I've now seen this twice (3d and 2d). My first viewing was opening night with Andrew Wallace and his two pals Andrew (aka Gizmo) and another cool person that I can't recall his name. We hung out prior to the movie and counted the people we knew. You had to know their name. Gizmo won. I knew one person that walked in which was pretty impressive considering I was in Leawood. We watched our movie with the stylish 3d glasses and we happened to get in for free. It was very entertaining and contained most of the old characters as well as many many new ones. The film displays loyalty, friendship, and love. Not to mention Buzz in Spanish mode! I highly recommend this movie to everyone who loved the originals.

TEC

A few weekends ago I went on a retreat known as TEC or Teens Encountering Christ. Juliana Alvey invited me to go after repeatedly telling me just how awesome it was. It didn't take much convincing. The cost was $90 in advance and $100 if you didn't turn the paperwork in early. It wasn't a bad price for a three day retreat. I must admit I was kind of nervous. I only knew a few people and I had no idea what would happen let alone I had to drive 2.5 hours to get there. I've never driven that long in one trip and I would be alone, the possibility for getting lost couldn't get much higher. I was excited though. I waited until the very last possible second to pack (it was that morning) and took off.

Tec was exactly where I needed to be that weekend. I needed the community of love and support, the reconnection with my faith, I needed Tec. The week before Tec was.....difficult to say the least. To be honest it was down right awful. I felt sick every morning and it took all the energy I had to get out of bed, not to mention my eating habits. I never went without food but I would have to tell myself to eat since I wasn't hungry most of the day. I started to drown and Tec was my life vest.

I learned two major things: friendship and awkwardness. That is what Tec was about for me. My table name was the Awkward Dancers and boy were we awkward. Everything about us screamed awkward including our table discussion or lack there of. Our group was pretty stellar though. We were able to enjoy each other even in the silence. The other members of our awkwardness were Kristi, Bobby, and Peter. Kristi lived in Seneca and she always offered stories about her family. She didn't ever really complain about anything and she always seemed to be enjoying the life she had. Bobby likes to fish. He lives in Overland Park or near there. He had actually been to Raymore and throughout the weekend told me we had some good ponds. Most of his answers for discussion included his parents which I must admit is pretty cool. I've never met them but I know they are amazing if they provide all those things for him. Peter was from Nebraska. His sister works for the diocese and was our music coordinator. She invited him to go and play his guitar. Peter didn't have an opinion except he loved Nebraska and the color Green (awesome right?). Megan D. decided his favorite animal was a lion (I think). We probably had the most diverse group and the most awkward. We embarrassed it though. They helped teach me to be proud of my awkwardness and stay true to myself. It provides many laughs and much joy.

Friendship was the biggest lesson I took from that weekend. Father Mike taught us or at least me a lot about it. Your friends should challenge you and the ones that challenge you most will be your best friends. I am blessed with a good amount of friends that do challenge me. Brooke, Kristen, Andrew, Krissy, and Megan probably challenged me the most.(Another post later on will be dedicated to the people that challenge me) Fr. Mike was amazing. He gave me the extra push I needed and showed me how to cope when things seem impossible. He said I should buy a crucifix (having something visual helps more) and when I don't think I can get through the day I just hold in my hands and remember what Jesus did, how he bore his cross. This is my cross right now and I'm not alone. He is helping me carry it just like he was helped. I haven't bought one yet but it's on my lists of things to do. Fr. Mike helped restore the faith that I was starting to lose.

I regained a friendship that weekend as well as obtained many new ones. I reconnected with someone who I used to be pretty close too. I'm....ecstatic that she was there. It gave us a deeper connection and brought us closer together in our faith journey. It wouldn't have been nearly as great without her. My new friendships are also amazing. As of late I've been hanging out with my resource Shannon. We have the same sense of humor and we help each other be insanely awkward. I love her. Another super awesome person is Mary. I've known her for awhile but we hadn't ever really been friends. Now we have our own special greeting which is extremely childish, loud, slighly embarrassing, but mainly extremely fun. I also met a guy I kinda went to Catholic School with. His brother ended up being in my grade and we know many of the same people since he is only a year younger than me. I love all the TEC people and I can't wait til our reunion to see them.

TEC defenitly is no Search but it is still amazing in its own way. I look forward to the many TEC teams I'll participate in and highly encourage everyone to attend TEC. The next two are in August and November. The cost is 90 if you sign up 2 weeks prior and it goes up to 100 if you wait til the last minute.

Blog

I tried to change how my blog looked. It was an epic fail.

Hey Batta, Batta

Currently, my dad and brother are practicing his baseball swing. Cole tends to get scared and tenses up at the plate. He hasn't mastered loosening up yet. I must say I'm pretty impressed with my dad right now. He is coaching he pretty well right now. Normally, he gets frustrated and just starts yelling. So far he is just loud which isn't exactly out of the ordinary. They are all pretty loud. They were practicing without a bat and then my dad decided to get the bat out..... First of all my father, who happens to be a good size guy, looks hilarious with swinging a bat that is only as tall as his knee. Secondly, I'm rather shocked he is letting Cole practice in the living room. Thankfully, our t.v. hasn't suffered. At the moment, they are using transformers to show where you throw the ball when it comes his way. He is playing left field.

Mason is going to be a great player or at least he has the potential to be. He is the second fastest kid on his team and his coaches think he can pass the other kid. Mason's problem is that he gets bored fast. He does well playing the "pitcher" position (he is in tball so he can't pitch yet). Every time the ball was hit he ran after it. He has a good arm and can hit it decently. I love watching my brothers play. I try to encourage Cole and let him know it's okay and it's just a game, that I'll love him no matter how the game turns out and that he can do this.

In other news, I just recently went on TEC for the first time. I will blog about it later. Krissy Sellmeyer and I were discussing about staying at Nazareth Farm after we get our bachelors in social work. It would be very rewarding spiritually. It is one of our favorite places to be.

The Fish Tank

The Fishtank introduces a new series for singer/songwriters showcasing their original music and the stories behind them.
Hosted by series curator, Daniel Quin Shay and featuring his original music as well as Kyle Hatley and Michael Hilboldt.

Doors open at 8:30, show starts at 9.
Donations accepted $5-15
Sponsored by Pabst Blue Ribbon

I went to this event last night and it was simply amazing. I'm all about being local. I love local coffee shops, local stores, and I love local music. I only knew one of these three artists and that was Michael. He is practically my brother in law ;) and I love the guy to death. I'm going to write about each of these guys and their music. I'll start with my least favorite and end with the best. (If you think an asteroid might crash into your house before you can read about the best then I suggest you scroll down to him first)

Kyle Hatley was second in the line up. He was a very good looking guy and he was probably in his early to mid twenties. His music wasn't bad. It was interesting. One song was pretty explicit.... yeah. What exactly can you say to that? It wasn't exactly what I was expecting. Some of his other songs were really good though. He had one and it was just random people and what they were going through. I think that one was my favorite from him. He had one of his friends sing with him and she had an amazing voice. I hope that I will get to hear her again.

Daniel was last in the line up. He was also the one in charge of the show. His songs were about his love. He never mentioned her name, he only referred to her as this: his love. He moved to Kansas City to be with her. His song were full of love and passion. He was 30. I really liked his voice. One song he played reminded me of Relient K and I just happen to adore them. He played the guitar and the harmonica. It was pretty impressive.

Michael was first in the line up and he also was able to play again after. I've always been a fan of his music and enjoyed listening to him. He has grown so much in the last few years and his voice has only gotten better. I'm kinda in love with his music. I can tell which songs were about Brooke and what was going on during that time. He dedicated one song to her, the song he wrote for her. It was called You Got Me. It was of course beautiful. I started to cry while he was playing. I wasn't the only one. His music is very moving and the love he posses is clearly visible while he plays. When he was singing I knew how true his love was and is for Brooke. It is pure and true. It was beautiful. He played a few new songs that I had never heard before, including one that he had only written a few hours before the show and yes it was pretty good. I wish all of them were on his music page. I'm hoping he makes an EP soon. :)

you got me by Michael Hilboldt

Each one of these gentlemen has a story and a journey they are on. There music reflects their life. Kyle's was bachelor, very stereotypical male. He seems to just be enjoying his life and having fun. Daniel is well seasoned. He has lived a lot but also has a lot more life to live. You can see the wisdom in his songs. And Michael, well I think you'll just have to listen to him yourself to find out what his music says. He said he would play at my birthday party and I'm really excited. I love listening to him sing. The link to his myspace page is post but those recordings don't give him justice. If you get the chance be sure to listen to him live. His music is very moving and his passion is noticeable. Thank you Michael. Thank you for sharing your gift with us. I'm very proud to call you my friend and I hope to be able to see you as well as your music change and grow.

I am hoping to spend more time down in Westport watching the local talent. First Fridays at the Fish Tank is an event worth visiting.

Michael's music page:http://www.myspace.com/sittingincolor#